I can’t do it. I’m stuck. This post is supposed to be about these amazing, exciting opportunities that Matt and I are pursuing with Black Market Farm. And, trust me, I will totally get there. But I can’t get there without talking about where I’ve been. And I’ve been stuck.
I have been REALLY stuck lately. As in, high-centered, wheels spinning, going nowhere… mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically (which I will get to in a moment). Paralysis, fear, frustration, anger, disappointment, overwhelm, grief. They are all loaded into my Honda Odyssey, taking up all the seats. I have been grieving all the things that I write about and many more that I’m not writing about. Things feel difficult and questions turn into more questions and complications, not the answers I need. How do I drive with all that baggage? I better figure it out “real quick,” because there’s a plow coming and I need to get back on the road, or else I’m going to be stuck here until spring. Which is something I have considered.
The thing is, Matt and I have these dreams—personally, for our family and our business at Black Market Farm. They are so close and so strong and powerful and they are pulling me, like a tow truck, out of the ditch. Or in my case, the tractor. You guys, this stuff is BIG. And exciting. And I can clearly see how it’s going to all come together! I’ve just got to get back on this damn road.
And I swear, I have the best intentions. Let's start with the two-hour mission to get the kids off the bus. It was a lovely day--no wind, beautiful snow everywhere... I decided to walk with Jude in the sled down to the highway, where the bus drops off the kids.
It went downhill fast from there. We loaded up, and after careful consideration of the drift behind me and the snow-packed road I had just walked with Jude, I chose the driveway in front of me. Even though I knew the other driveway had just been blown out by our neighbor with a snow blower. (you see where this is going, I'm sure). I picked the wrong driveway back to the house. Turns out, it wasn't snow-packed. It was packed with snow. Lesson of my life: I overthink it and I take the difficult path. Can I get an amen?
I called Matt (who finally answered... never mind that he didn't answer my two calls and text about which ROAD TO TAKE!). He was not happy and I felt like a total fool and neither of us could smile about this predicament. But that was only for the first 40 minutes. Here’s the text I got as I was finally unstuck and headed down the highway toward the other driveway. Mind you, it had been an hour since I had asked my original question.
When stripped down to our barest essentials, we have found uncompromising values that we can really share. In fact, that’s exactly what we are going to be doing.
Getting back on the road means we are launching our 2017 CSA season. We know what we know, and we are ready to practice and grow. And we are launching it in a big way! An international Kickstarter campaign that you will be hearing about in the next few days--you get to be directly involved. Look for emails, videos and more… we will need your help. :)
When the going gets tough, the tough get… clear. We are really clear about our focus on food and a natural, sustainable and healthy way of life that we have an opportunity to share. And we are building on the incredible community response and enthusiasm! We don’t have to do this alone. In fact, we can’t. And that is beautiful.
It's time to shed the baggage and get back on the road. And, while it's not always easy to choose simplicity, it will ultimately be what sets us free. And gets us out of the ditch.